You are slipping Lambert. You are not being everything you can be. You are not pushing, you are coasting.
You’re allowed to do that for a while but time is up now. You need to push harder, reach further and achieve goals which make you feel good.
You need to commit. Be strong. Dig deep and get moving.
I got out of the shower the other night and wrote the above down straight away. It’s amazing the moments of clarity you have when you are standing in the shower.
It’s been a tough few weeks. There has been bad news and bad times as well as good news and good times. But overall it has just felt a bit rough. And I have allowed that to affect the way I live my life. Mainly I have allowed it to stop me doing the things that make me feel good.
It is a strange thing that we humans can know exactly what will make us feel good and yet fail to do it. For me it is challenging myself through fitness and exercise. A couple of weeks ago I completed the Le Petit Depart sportive. An 80 mile cycle, taking in some of Yorkshires finest hills on part of the previous Tour de France route.
I loved it, despite it toughness. However, I knew I hadn’t done as good a job of it as I should have done. I really hadn’t thrown myself into the training. Hence the pep talk.
Time To Change
So, this morning, despite not needing to, I got up at 6am and went for a run. I am staying in the village in which I grew up for a few days and took much delight in the quiet solitude of a country morning.
It had rained a little overnight and was just the right amount of cool. I saw no-one, just horses and birds. The water on the river and sailing lake was still and glassy. I don’t need music when I run as songs tend to play in my head anyway. This time it was David Grey with Babylon.
Home, dog walk, shower, load dogs into car and off to Sherwood Pines to meet my best friend for a walk. We spent a wonderful couple of hours Gruffalo hunting in the woods with her three year old, Jamie, whilst baby Sophie looked on patiently from her push chair. Brew and Sprite occupied themselves snuffling through the forest floor, dappled by sunlight through the leaves.
If It Feels Good Keep Going
Back home for a brief rest before going to meet another friend for dinner. I haven’t bought my bike with me to my parents house so decided to borrow my Dads. All I need to do is find an allen key to lower the seat, a pump to inflate the very flat tyres, a puncture repair kit and a bike lock. Finally, covered in spider web and shaking my head at how difficult this task had been, I was ready to go.
All I needed to do was chase Brew around the garden for five minutes to stop him eating the bird food.
Throughout all of this the car beckoned. It would be easier to jump in the car. I wouldn’t arrive sweaty and flustered. I could wear heels and take a handbag instead of clompy cycling shoes and a pannier. Somehow I stuck to my guns. The voice in the back of my head said ‘no more excuses, no more easy option’.
Thank You Voice In My Head
That voice forced me out of bed this morning and kept me moving all day. That nagging voice has just had me sign up for the Beachy Head Marathon. Last year I loved the Beachy Head. It is a pretty brutal, off-road marathon, on the South Downs.
This year I feel it will be tougher than last. But, it is a goal. Amongst all the bad and good things happening at the moment it is a focus and a lesson.
However hard it is; do what makes you feel better.